Hex Factor.

Witching hour on the X Factor and the bonfire is raging for Wagner. The fix factor has the press poring out salacious and over the top stories such as Wagner threatening to head butt Harry from One Direction and Wagner walking into naked Mary's room and refusing to leave. Even the story of Matt squaring up to Wagner over the exit of Aiden has been twisted into Wagner being the bad guy. Maybe Matt's hat is on a bit too tight for him to be getting oxygen to his brain cells but the whole point of X Factor is that it is a popularity competition. Wagner got more votes than Aiden and Katie. Aiden had the least votes. Aiden left. As that little meerkat says: "Simples."

Bye Quiff Head.

On the show last night it was all about Cheryl VS Wagner. A news story came out that Wagner had ranted about how "lucky" Cheryl was to be where she was after coming from a "council estate" and Cheryl, knowing how honest journalists are decided to get mortally offended by this slur on her character. Erm.. what? Cheryl IS from a council estate and she IS lucky to be where she is. She's no Madonna, Sarah Mclachlan, Tori Amos or anyone with a remotely good voice. She did get lucky because there are thousands and thousands of attractive singers with good voices who can't get their break. Does she think she is owed what she has got out of her amazing life? That it is her unbelievable talent that got her to where she is? Is it fuck. She went on X Factor, joined a girl band, got some bad press, married a footballer, was cheated on and rejoined the X Factor as a judge which somehow made her the nation's darling.

"I'm reet angree on the X Factah me."

Cheryl could have been the bigger person. She could have nodded and accepted that Wagner (if he really was angry) was probably feeling hurt, alone and left out of the wolf pack of other contestants and judges that are against him. She could have put herself in his position. Instead she picked a fight with him on live television and tried to make him feel two centimetres tall. It backfired and made her look unprofessional and catty. Wagner meanwhile came out of the row looking a gentleman, repeating the words she once said on Piers Morgan's Life Stories: "Don't believe everything you read in the papers."

Epic Stair Fail.

The results are in and Paije and Cher are in the sing off. Crazy that Cher is considering her massive Twitter following; maybe Simon really was right about those stairs Both have sang and Paije is going home. The judges say he doesn't deserve to be going home, but what are the other options? Simon Cowell sets up a home for singers where they are all winners and get to sing every day to their hearts content? One person wins so that means sooner or later all but one have to get off the show.

Paije isn't all the rage.

Knowing how angry Cheryl is that her little prodige was in the bottom two I'm hoping Wagner doesn't walk into Cheryl in an empty toilet any time soon. We all know how that could work out for him. Here's to another week of exaggerated stories, bitching and back stabbing. As Stone Gods sang "We're Gonna Burn the Witch!"