X Factor Final.

Quelle surprise and quelle domage, a taxi has been called for Cher Lloyd. The poor girl has had weeks of hate mongering in tabloids and "I hate Cher Lloyd" was one of the biggest tweets on Twitter. But why? I'm not a rabid Cher fan, slavering over her every performance, but I do enjoy her musical talent and appreciate that she has improved the X Factor this year. She has upped the game. No easy options or lazy song choices, she has shown up her fellow contestants with her bravery and stubborn showmanship. It has cost her the X Factor crown but in the long run it will be Cher laughing her way to the bank, performing to crowds and not only singing the music she wants to sing but also being appreciated for it.

But what about the performances tonight? Matt's version of Dido's "Here With Me" was beautiful but there was more chemistry between Matt and a carrot than there was between him and Rihanna. His shaky attempt at licking his lips at the sight of those absolutely scrumptious thighs was as transparent as the duo's pawing at each other. You could actually see Matt vibrating with fear at the Goddess standing in front of him. When talking to Dermot O' Leering afterwards Matt said that he looked up to Rihanna. Yeah, by about two inches short arse.

... sizzling

Rebecca always astounds me. I didn't recognise her first song but it was beautifully performed and that dress was stunning. Her charm comes from her humility and the quiet pride seen in her gorgeous smile after singing a song well. I hope she wins. Her duet with Christina Aguilera was excellent up until Christina came on the stage. Literally swollen headed from her own arrogance, it was almost as though Christina was competing with Rebecca, to show her who is boss. It was a shame.

One Direction's "Your Song" was nicey nice. Soft and Christmassy with a slightly off key ending from Harry. His head shaking as he walked off stage showed his disappointment but don't worry Harry, those curls let you get away with anything. Their duet with Robbie was well sung but the hackneyed sight of Robbie curling his lips and nodding his head in the cocky way that makes him "The Robster" just, well... pissed me off basically. I think One Direction probably will win it. Too many girls with hormones and not enough with real musical taste.

Cher's performances as ever were original, unique and something enjoyable to watch. Her duet with Will.I.Am was perfect for her and was a definite highlight of the show. At seventeen she shouldn't be hated for being different. Give the girl a break.

On holiday in Tunisia for a week. Ta ta!

Hex Factor.

Witching hour on the X Factor and the bonfire is raging for Wagner. The fix factor has the press poring out salacious and over the top stories such as Wagner threatening to head butt Harry from One Direction and Wagner walking into naked Mary's room and refusing to leave. Even the story of Matt squaring up to Wagner over the exit of Aiden has been twisted into Wagner being the bad guy. Maybe Matt's hat is on a bit too tight for him to be getting oxygen to his brain cells but the whole point of X Factor is that it is a popularity competition. Wagner got more votes than Aiden and Katie. Aiden had the least votes. Aiden left. As that little meerkat says: "Simples."

Bye Quiff Head.

On the show last night it was all about Cheryl VS Wagner. A news story came out that Wagner had ranted about how "lucky" Cheryl was to be where she was after coming from a "council estate" and Cheryl, knowing how honest journalists are decided to get mortally offended by this slur on her character. Erm.. what? Cheryl IS from a council estate and she IS lucky to be where she is. She's no Madonna, Sarah Mclachlan, Tori Amos or anyone with a remotely good voice. She did get lucky because there are thousands and thousands of attractive singers with good voices who can't get their break. Does she think she is owed what she has got out of her amazing life? That it is her unbelievable talent that got her to where she is? Is it fuck. She went on X Factor, joined a girl band, got some bad press, married a footballer, was cheated on and rejoined the X Factor as a judge which somehow made her the nation's darling.

"I'm reet angree on the X Factah me."

Cheryl could have been the bigger person. She could have nodded and accepted that Wagner (if he really was angry) was probably feeling hurt, alone and left out of the wolf pack of other contestants and judges that are against him. She could have put herself in his position. Instead she picked a fight with him on live television and tried to make him feel two centimetres tall. It backfired and made her look unprofessional and catty. Wagner meanwhile came out of the row looking a gentleman, repeating the words she once said on Piers Morgan's Life Stories: "Don't believe everything you read in the papers."

Epic Stair Fail.

The results are in and Paije and Cher are in the sing off. Crazy that Cher is considering her massive Twitter following; maybe Simon really was right about those stairs Both have sang and Paije is going home. The judges say he doesn't deserve to be going home, but what are the other options? Simon Cowell sets up a home for singers where they are all winners and get to sing every day to their hearts content? One person wins so that means sooner or later all but one have to get off the show.

Paije isn't all the rage.

Knowing how angry Cheryl is that her little prodige was in the bottom two I'm hoping Wagner doesn't walk into Cheryl in an empty toilet any time soon. We all know how that could work out for him. Here's to another week of exaggerated stories, bitching and back stabbing. As Stone Gods sang "We're Gonna Burn the Witch!"

X Factor / Fix Factor?

The weekend before last I spat out my cereal in mirth while watching X Factor. Yeah I eat cereal in the evenings as a nutritious treat sometimes, so what?

What caused this tittering was the sight of Cheryl Cole's face tightening up like a clown's purse when Wagner (pronounced "Vagner") was put through for another week by the public. For those who don't know yet are increasingly intrigued by this tale of Cheryl Cole's frustration- Wagner is a middle aged, long haired, eccentric Brazilian who can not sing, let alone sing in time. He is voted in weekly by members of the public who are increasingly frustrated with this money making machine that demands to take our money in a voting system that allows an attractive yet not incredibly talented singer to become famous and make an album that will be nice yet bland, devoid of any raw talent or creativity. The main song on the album that will be any good is then brought out to be Xmas number one. 

Worst CD cover ever?

Britain is so fed up of filling Simon Cowell's pockets that they are boycotting his show. Last year Simon complained when Rage Against The Machine were number 1 after people made a campaign on Facebook, saying it was "stupid" and "dismissive" of contestants. So what if it is stupid? And isn't it up to us who we dismiss? It is better than having another bland album out with another bland cover with bland photo's and songs that go "Baby I miss you, I love you hold my hand la la" or something equally shit.

What I don't like about this series is the obvious need to keep Katie Waissel in the show. I didn't quite understand it until I read that Katie had links to Sony and Cowell before the show. Usually on X Factor if someone is in the bottom two more than twice the judges will decide that this singer has no connection with the public and therefore should go. Not so with Katie. The producers changed the rules to suit themselves when Kay-Tee was up against Trey- Cee, refusing to go to deadlock because they knew Katie had the least votes. The next week they knew Aiden had less votes and it went to deadlock so he left. Seriously, how many chances does one girl get?

I wouldn't mind if she wasn't so smug and desperate all at the same time. Whenever she gets praised after singing she acts like she's done something amazing like cured AIDs when really she has just done what she is on the effing show to do in the first place. Annoying. I would just like to clarify that although it is irritating knowing someone is being favouritised on a show I do think it's quite disgusting that Katie is getting death threats. Come on, you should have kept it quiet. She'll see you coming now.

Rebecca to win!

Although I am anti X Factor for their sneaky ways and yearnings for weak pop albums to sell to the tween masses... I do watch weekly. The main reason for this is Rebecca Ferguson. Her smoky, soulful voice, reminiscent of Nina Simone and her beautifully modest smile after singing makes her an obvious winner.